On January 3, I voluntarily decided to surrender my car-keys and sell my car … this at age 83, and a young 83 I add, and following 67 years of a fairly clean driving. Me, Jim A, St X Noon, decided to do this. I did it myself. I didn’t want any intervention laid on me. I loved to drive, always did. Loved cars and a variety of styles and makes. As a pre-teen kid, I studied the free Standard Oil gas station road maps, so when I started to drive, I was pretty good getting around in a car, even the unlit, dark, rural country roads in England. But on the 1stof January, I was feeling uncomfortable driving. It just wasn’t the fun it used to be, and I was 83 and had had open-heart surgery, my recovery period a bigger trip than I anticipated. Moreover, I wasn’t going to play the “poor-me-bit” which could have arisen with a forced car-key surrender. But that morning, having decided to hang ‘em up, I realized I faced a load of nits & nats to solve, all centered around how much of my “freedom-to-drive anywhere” lifestyle was I going to be able to retain? I certainly didn’t want my wife to become my all-purpose taxi driver, nor did she wish that fate.

To solve this quandary, for some reason, probably my Higher Power’s work, I looked at our 12 Steps that very morning and discovered The Steps had already outlined the very path to do just that. Maybe it takes a bit of fiddling to meld my car-key issues with the Step’s action words, but surely, one can see the Step’s innate spirt and wisdom. So, and without delay, here’s how I used the Steps.

Steps 1, 2 and 3—I decided to quit my addiction (my driving) now and did so avoiding the familiar risks of the half-quit. I’d tried that with my addiction and sooner or later I eased back into the old ways. So, with my driving, I knew I had to “give it up” all at once, not on a test basis, not halfway (day-driving only!). As with any change like this, I am re-learning the importance of a nurturing expansion of my spiritual life. Also, I see that my feelings of aging spill over to the importance of a couple’s daily lives and the changes brought on merely by the inevitable aging process.

Steps 4, 5 and 6—I made “to do” lists. Specifically, what did I have to change to achieve the goal? The list includes all things driving gave me—freedom to meet friends for lunch, regular visits with my somewhat challenged sister, going to St. X Noon meetings, runs to the library for more books, a freedom to continue my charitable activities, just driving around seeing new stuff. My list, however, this time centered on the positives, not addiction’s negatives. For 50 years, I’d developed personal relations with fellow attorneys, and after retiring, expanded the scope of my friends. I wanted all of that to continue. So, with the help of the gadget-oriented world of electronic products, I figured I could do so. And with the assistance of my kids, I am learning all I need to know to get out and see people “on my own” via UBER, ZOOM, GOOGLE, AMAZON, laptops, FACEBOOK, emails, KROGERS, all the new online shopping opportunities, home-delivery food markets, restaurants, and most every commercial operation claims to have this service.

Steps 7, 8, 9 and 10—These were simple steps to follow. I told my family that each new way I was going to follow to get around was going to be subject to review. I wanted to be independent as much as possible, but if a change of mode of transportation didn’t work, following a review thereof by thoughtful face-to-face family discussions and spiritual study, I’d try whatever way came to the surface.

Steps 11 and 12—Yes, none of this would have been possible without developing a spiritual life, cultivated by readings and attendance at Bible study groups and Program meetings—a way of walking with our Higher Power through life’s adventures. Several thought what I was doing was good for my soul, my family’s feelings, and personal friendships. They saw the worth in keeping with the Twelve Step framework. I promised myself, I’d pass along how nicely the Twelve Steps fit my process of giving-up-my-car-keys. I am once again grateful for my Higher Power and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous. … I kept coming back to it.  

JRA St X Noon