You may not find a patient practicing alcoholic, but if you are looking for people attempting to learn how to be patient, attend an AA meeting and listen especially to the newcomers seeking ways to live a patient life.

The lack of patience is another hidden harm for it often brings the alcoholic to raw anger, depression, a “poor me” syndrome, anxiety, a feeling of helplessness.

All this is caused by our ego: “I am the master of my universe.” If we are recovering, a key sign of difficulty is an expanding ego: “I have this booze thing under control.” We take our tools for sobriety for granted and suddenly we wonder why a slip grabs us. AA meetings are “reminder meetings” -- easy does it, let go and let God, turn it over. The Steps ask us to ask our Higher Power for His assistance as we travel this path.

Often hidden behind a cloud, impatience creeps up on all of us but especially newcomers: “Yes, I tried, but the Program just didn’t help, 32 in 90”, and newbie then cries out, “I don’t have the patience to work all those steps and attend all the meetings. I just couldn’t get it.” It took time to become a real alcoholic. We sometimes forget that becoming an alcoholic and finding its supportive and necessary habits usually takes time. To rid ourselves of those alcoholic habits takes time.

But often we seem to want it all and we want it now. Perhaps some of us aren’t working the Program as hard as we should. We don’t discard those hard-earned habits overnight. Our ego is always looking for a spot of weakness to jump into and start beating tom-toms to the sounds of “You don’t need this Program. You can do it yourself. Don’t waste your time. Get out of all those meetings and the accompanying stuff.”

Some would look at impatience as a way to blow-off steam -- maybe a way to draw attention to yourself and your combative personality: “I’m in a hurry, and important!” and we mumble, “Get this line moving, what’s the problem?” Of course, we firmly believe our often-boorish words themselves speed things along, remedy the congestion. A lack of patience is the prelude to the loss of control over oneself. And impatience stands in the way of securing that 60 seconds before we reply in an unreasonable manner.

Patience also seems to me to relate to the importance of control, an issue I carry around. When it reaches …

“… Wait! Stop! Excuse the interruption. I must end this. So sorry, but I have to take care of my 5-year-old grandson who we are babysitting who’s right now standing by my side and poking me as I write this, he’s crying and yelling at me that I promised ice cream! “Let’s go”, he says, pulling my shirt sleeve trying to get me to deliver on my promise …”

Better end this: but boy, he’d better learn some patience -- and where the heck did he get that impatience.

JRA, Traditions, Lebanon