Job 11:18 And you will have confidence, because there is hope; you will be protected and take your rest in safety.

Over four years ago (this was written in 2008) I lost my job. At first, I was confident this was a momentary setback, that a new and better situation was sure to turn up. After several months of looking without success, and on the verge of losing my unemployment, I was getting scared. I had foolishly failed to significantly adjust my living expenses and my savings were dwindling. Feeling depressed and frustrated, and uncertain what to do next, I accepted an invitation to spend a few days visiting a friend in New York City. What better place to forget my troubles and have a little change of scene. I rode the bus (amazingly cheap transportation!) and slept on my friend’s couch. My troubles, of course, came right along on the trip, and soon the fears returned and, with next to no money to spend, I just wandered around Manhattan. This aimless wandering when I was feeling fearful and anxious was dangerous for me. As a recovering alcoholic there was a real danger, I would suddenly decide a drink would make me feel better, take a turn into some anonymous bar, and lose the sobriety I had worked on for thirteen years. Drinking again would mean a slow and steady descent into a living hell. As I walked down Second Avenue with this self-destructive impulse growing inside of me, I remembered that the national office of The Episcopal Church was at 815 Second Avenue. I figured there must be a chapel in the building somewhere, and I decided to stop there and pray.

When I entered the chapel there was one other person seated there. I closed my eyes to meditate, and I said a prayer. I continued to pray in silence with my eyes closed, but I was aware that others were entering the place. Then a woman began to play the piano and sing. She was very talented, and I love good music, so I stayed rather than leave. The thought did enter my mind that maybe some service was about to start because by now there were others entering the room. But I was near the door and thought I could exit once things started in earnest. I looked around to see that the chapel was filling with around thirty people, all women.

It was surely God's hand pushing down on my shoulder that kept me in my seat once they started the prayers for the day. This was no sedate Episcopal Noonday Prayers service but rather a circle of black women swaying, singing, and praying with hands in the air. I’m a child of my church, and I’m generally uncomfortable with extemporaneous and spirit-guided praying, but this group had me spellbound.

Then one of the women came to me and asked me what had brought me there that day, what was it that was weighing on my mind? The words “I need a job” tumbled out of my mouth. I thought I would faint from the sensation of lightness and release I was feeling.

The women had me stand in the center of their circle as they surrounded me, placed their hands on my shoulders and head, and prayed that God would give me strength and courage to find my way to new life. I felt like I was swimming in warm, clear water and I wept.

I don’t remember much about the rest of the service although there was a sermon preached on the verse from Job I read at the start of this story. Afterwards many of the women came up to me and hugged me. Then I realized that they were putting dollars in my shirt pocket!

I wasn’t actually broke at the time, and I thought I should refuse the money, but it was so freely given that I had to accept it. The last person, the woman who asked me what was troubling me, gave me this small New Testament as she said goodbye. The next day I was on the bus back to Columbus. I renewed my job search, and I was working again within a couple of weeks.

Life is all about change. Sometimes those changes feel a lot like death, and we simply have to accept that. Trusting in God is not our only option when we walk these valleys full of shadows, but it is the only option I’ve tried that releases me from fear and offers me a new life of abundance. God does not exempt us from enduring life's darker moments, but God does travel with us through those darker times and is there even when we have difficulty finding a Divine Presence. Jesus felt a moment of desperation and fear in the garden before his arrest and trial, and he prayed to God for deliverance. Later Jesus prayed a prayer of abandonment on the cross just before entrusting his spirit to God. He taught us to pray "Thy will be done" and that is how I try to end my prayers now. Practicing resurrection... for me it is the only way to live ...an abundant life.