At a recent 12-Step meeting the topic was New Year resolutions. As I thought about the topic, I first felt guilty, because I had not made any or even thought about it. But then I remembered all the broken resolutions I have made over the years. What I have learned in my recovery is that I cannot resolve to do anything to change myself. I do not have the will or strength to bring about the desired changes in my life.

So what, do I just give up making myself a better person, or trying to stop bad behavior?

My understanding of change comes from 12-Step recovery and scripture. I have learned that most change happens slowly and involves struggle. If I want to change any aspect of my life, I need to follow the principles of the 12 Steps—first surrender and trust God, then a willingness to examine my issue and why I have it, then a confession to God and another person—but there is more. There is a process of becoming willing to finally let it go. And then when I fully realize I do not have the power to bring about this change, I humbly ask God to remove it. That is when God does for me what I could not do for myself.

This long painful struggle is designed into humanity. When God rescued Israel there was a lengthy process of back and forth between Moses and Pharoah and it was not until there was this long terrible struggle that they were finally set free.

Joseph had to go through his brothers trying to kill him, and then live as a slave, then as a prisoner for something he did not do. Through this long painful struggle Joseph was used by God to keep his people safe and deliver them from a terrible famine.

God is at work in our struggles to bring about healing. Change is happening in my life all the time and when I am struggling, I know it is because God is doing a good work in me. I will be better for it on the other side. I just need to be patient and trust.

After all, our ultimate deliverance came after an exceptionally long wait, then a bloody and painful death and resurrection. Awful but also magnificent.

Our world is in a struggle right now that requires some momentous change. The change will come I believe, but not until we have gone through the terrible struggle. All good things have come through pain and struggle—but they do always come. I do not like it, but I trust it.

Blessings to you in the new year as you struggle with the changes you seek in life.

God’s peace
Ed T.