In his review of Kenneth Branagh’s movie  “A Haunting in Venice,” in PARABOLA  Summer 2024 , Jame Tynen writes, “it deserves  more recognition for its powerful picture of what happens when a committed rationalist encounters the supernatural” At the end of the review he writes, “A Haunting in Venice reminds us that to take a step into the supernatural is to risk being swept into powers that can’t be described as facts , clues and deductions. It is a journey into a reality that can’t be measured or rationalized yet nevertheless has the power to change us.

Over the span of my time in the Fellowship I have come across many agnostics, atheists, and rationalists who, like the rest of us, had some problem with the idea of God since we had prayed to God for help, cursed God for not helping, abandoned god.

When I first heard that all I had to do was “Read the Big Book, talk to my sponsor, and go to meetings” I was more than skeptical. I had difficulty in acknowledging that I was powerless. Coming to believe in a Power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity was laughable. I could stop drinking anytime I wanted, I was not insane. My boss sent me for treatment not to a Psych ward.  

“Turned our will and our life over the care of God as we understood Him.” I was a good catholic, of course God was in charge of my life. I had no control over anything, except that I acted like I had control over everything.

“What happens when a committed rationalist encounters the supernatural?” Miracles happen sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly but they will always materialize if we work [look] for them.

“To take a step into the supernatural is to risk being swept into powers that can’t be described as facts, clues, and deductions.” Having read the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, The Little Red Book, and the history of A.A., I knew it all except this part that few really discussed—the supernatural, the Spiritual.

The Spiritual cannot be discussed in terms of facts, clues, and deductions. It is to be experienced and once experienced it leaves us speechless. As Bill reported, “Suddenly the room lit up with a great white light. It seemed to me, in the mind’s eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a freeman. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, “So this is the god of the preachers!””

Bill had experienced a “presence,” a “wind,” saw himself on a mountain. But there are those for whom this may be the result of medication, medication withdrawn. And yet, for Bill, it was an experience , a spiritual awakening, that changed his life and the lives of millions of others over the years.

“It is a journey into a reality that can’t be measured or rationalized yet nevertheless has the power to change us.” I never expected the changes that I have experienced since I finally acknowledged I am powerless over alcohol and other drugs, that my life had become unmanageable. In the process of making Amends, I learned just how unmanageable my life had been. I thought I knew about God—so much for a degree in theology (attained under the influence of spirits). I had to come to grips that I had to relearn all I thought I knew and see it in a totally different light. It wasn’t about positions to be taken; it was about being open to the Spirit as I came to understand god. The journey was from the head to the heart, from rigidity in thinking and expectations to finding fluidity in life; it was a journey from arrogance to kneeling in respect with humility; a journey from being under the influence of spirits to being led by the Spirit, a power greater than me, that restored me to sanity.

This was a new reality that could not “be measured or rationalized.”  Somewhere in reading the Big Book, talking to sponsors and members of the fellowship, listening and sharing at meetings, a Spirit, a Power greater than myself, crept into my heart and mind and changed me. Recovery is not “to risk being swept into powers that cannot be described” but rather experienced as life giving.

• Alcoholics Anonymous p 100

Séamus D
Séamus is a retired Episcopal priest in the New Orleans Diocese.