I am an organized person. My father would say: “A place for everything and everything in its place.” I like my life orderly and predictable – at least I think I do, but I know I often fail and then try to wrestle my life back into the order I want. It’s really about control. I want everything to go the way I want.
Recently, I heard someone relate a story about a friend who was very controlling, especially around events that they were responsible for at work. I too had been responsible for many years for large events and would get totally stressed out and irritable thinking, that would ensure that the event went off with no mistakes or problems. I made the experience not very enjoyable for all the people I worked with and even some guests.
The person shared with me that their friend wanted to let go of the overly controlling way they were and so they asked God to help. The prayer was simple: “Please surprise me.” What they were asking for was to let go of the outcome and trust. Trust that God would take care of the event and that it wasn’t all up to the planner. The surprise would be to leave room for a – well – a surprise!
So, I recently tried the prayer. I had a very important meeting with someone I deeply cared about and whom I had also hurt. We had hurt each other badly over many years and were meeting to see if we could…. I’m not quite sure what I wanted or what we would say to each other. I had written down what I thought was the amends I needed to make, to apologize, and ask if there was anything I needed to hear from him about my behavior. I knew what I hoped for. I wanted to listen and to share myself without expectations of how it would all turn out. I sat in my car before the meeting and meditated. Just before I got out of the car, I said out loud: “God, Please, surprise me, thank you.”
We were to meet for just an hour or so. It turned into 5 hours of real connection and deep sharing about so many things. We both took responsibility for the hurt we had contributed to the breach in our relationship. We talked and walked and even ended up having lunch together. It was a miracle, a God Shot experience. We hugged as we said goodbye knowing that we were open to a new kind of friendship.
As I got to my car, I realized that I had been given my surprise! I had forgotten all about my prayer from earlier in the day and all I knew was that a surprise miracle had happened, and I said again, “Thank you.”
When I got a new license plate after I moved, I knew what the plate would say, and I was happy to pay extra to always remember:
Libbie S.