One of my fondest memories of 3rd grade was how our teacher, Mrs. Vantrese, read books to us. The only one I remember was one about a little girl who could make herself very small and visit the ants that lived under her backyard stairs. I too loved ants after that and would lie in the grass in summer and watch them. Later when my daughter was 10 or so I got us an ant farm. I told her that it could be a fun science thing, but she wasn’t very interested. It really was for me.
On my daily walks in Arizona, I walk on the cart paths of a golf course that went belly up and the owners donated the course to our county as a park. You can walk the whole course on the paths, perhaps 5 miles. It doesn’t much look like a golf course any more as the desert has reclaimed the manicured green grass.
Most days, I see hundreds of ants crossing the paths. They often look very random. They bump into each other and seem to not have any idea where they are going or what they are doing. I am reminded of ME before recovery. I was on fire running around trying to stop the chaos and flames and never noticing anyone else and all the while wanting someone to help me!
Sometimes, I notice one little ant carrying something that seems way too large for this small creature to hold, let alone, carry. I watch as she tries to move a crumb of something, and I feel sad for her. I too tried to carry my disease all by myself. I could manage it alone, thank you very much, but it was hard. My life was unmanageable.
The other day I saw what looked like a red pebble on the path. It was the size of a dime BUT it was MOVING! I got closer, bent down to look, and saw an amazing thing. It wasn’t a pebble; it was some organic thing, and it was moving because a dozen ants were moving it! They were working together in a way that seemed to indicate that they had done this many times before. Their survival depended on working together. The ant hill nearby was their destination and there too were ants working together to maintain their home.
So, I think it is with recovery. Meetings and fellowship and reaching out to those who still suffer is the selfish thing I do to keep my sobriety. It also keeps me connected to and in fellowship with others to support and nurture us in our recovery. Carrying and supporting each other as we Trudge the Happy Road of Destiny.
–Libbie S, Sober Sisters, Green Valley, AZ
