...perhaps it was in a church basement. Today—all over town—AA meetings are opening in all manner of places. The Days of Stigma, epitomized by basement AA meetings, are gone and in more ways than one, the Fellowship has moved “upstairs.”

You probably didn’t know a soul at your first meeting, not one person. Some probably appeared a bit shell-shocked. By the way, recall how you looked that first day!

Of course, everyone seemed to know the workings of AA meetings-opening with the Serenity Prayer, a reading of material from something called—as you came to know it—the “Big Book,” then the passing of the basket.

Then out of the blue, the chair asks if anyone is attending their first AA meeting, “Please stand so we can say hello.” Shazam... are you kidding me, you screamed to yourself. Did your face reflect that shock and fear?

You didn’t expect this and racing through your mind was this thought: ‘Am I going to have to stand in a room of people and admit I’m an alcoholic?’

You stand up, but before you can even say your name, everyone claps, smiles, and turn to the last row where you decided to hide sit, some asking your name, others shaking your hand, others, “Welcome, come back! Need a ride?”

Then someone was asked to address the group. She said she was going to tell us what it was like, in her words, “drinking like a skid-row drunk,” what happened, and what she’s learned working the Program. Right off, her story went to her worst days, nights, her torments. It seemed to trace your own path. She told of her fears and sorrows. It became more real to you. You knew she was telling the truth. She spoke of finding the Program, her early days of working the Steps.

But then she said in hindsight, “It was all a lark to get ready for my court appearance.. She said she went back out after a month or two, maybe it was longer.  She said she quickly returned to her old drunken path, and really tumbled this time. You could tell she was hurting. Her voice broke, tears were beginning... you knew she wasn’t making this up and you felt her pain, her shame, you wanted to reach for and hold her.

Suddenly, it was as quiet as that church meeting room ever gets. She stood there, barely in control of herself, shaking... then she said,

“I’ll never forget, I came back, ashamed, afraid, crushed as a human can be... but you welcomed me! You cried with me. Some of you said, ‘I’d followed a similar path’... no questions or suspicious looks, just a ‘glad you’re back. Keep coming back!’”

Her story struck you hard as can be, twisted your stomach, but at the same time grabbing your heart. Maybe she was speaking to you, but to you alone?

Those early AA meetings—yes, they often were hard for there was so much to learn, and to learn to have the courage to implement what you had learned. But you finally realized the wonderful news was that these new ways were the start of your new life, one of rebuilding and re-learning how to live without harming yourself and others. You saw the need to carry that message of hope to others. Perhaps most importantly, you learned to seek a spiritual basis for living your life.

Scary first meeting? You bet, but for me, it’s important to recall those days, down and dirty in that dungeon, and how our Higher Power and the Program themselves walked into that dungeon and helped us seize that moment and twist it and surrender drink and accept the Program’s ways. You found the joy of finding a Power greater than yourself and move forward as a Recovering Alcoholic!

Jim A St X Noon, Cincinnati