Many years ago, Andy Williams wrote this Christmas song; “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…everyone telling you “be of good cheer” …with those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call…parties for hosting….And tales of the glories Of Christmases long, long ago it's the most wonderful time of the year.”
Oh, how I loved Christmas. Our Christmas parties began on the first of December and continued until mid-January. Tables were covered with all kinds of alcohol, rum cake, egg nog that could knock your socks off, fruit cake that could be set on fire or ingested through a straw. Ah, what memories! I wish I could forget most of them.
Without a doubt, Christmas is a wonderful time of the year. Before Corporations got their hands on the season of Christmas and turned it into Santamas—a profit-making season—Christmas was about the coming of Jesus into our hearts and into the world. It was a time of joy with hymns appropriate to the season. And yet, for all the Joy and jingle bells, I felt alone and lonely regardless of the party.
My first Christmas/ New Year’s Eve sober party was one I have never forgotten. Two tables at the back of the hall were filled with food and drinks—non-alcoholic drinks, the likes of which I had never tasted, nor did I know such a thing existed. There was probably more people in the hall than the fire-department would recommend, and the Joy that was there was something to experience. I remember thinking if that crowd decided to get drunk how crazy they would be because they seemed so crazy- in a good sense- that night and, I wanted what they had. I wasn’t drinking but I wasn’t sober either.
The Christmas season is without doubt a joy-filled season, the Christmas music, the movies for adults and children, all are geared to suspending the darkness of the world around us and letting us dream of a better time, a new life in the year to come.
It took me a few years to appreciate that Christmas does not have to be a lonely, depressing, alcohol-abusing time. After all, for many in the world around me, it’s just another day – people have to work. One year, I joined a few colleagues to work Christmas day so those with family could spend it with their family. That was, in retrospect, a great gift to them and to those of us who worked that day.
Sobriety opened my mind and heart again to the real meaning of Christmas which—for Christians—is the birthday of Jesus of Nazareth who became a radical Jewish Rabbi (Teacher), and, after his crucifixion and resurrection, became the long-awaited Messiah and, in time, believed to be the Son of God, the second person of the Blessed Trinity.
This man was comfortable in the homes of rich and poor alike. He had a simple and profound message—the Kingdom of God is within you. Imagine that. The Kingdom of God is within me? Hard to believe, indeed. After all I had done and said and don’t remember the majority of it—god is still with me, within me, guiding me through others to do the next right thing.
I love our A.A. meetings that are held on Christmas day, New Year’s Day, Easter, etc. when someone walks into the meeting and, usually in tears, opens him/herself for the first time in their life, feel at home within themselves, and with the group.
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…everyone telling you ‘Be of good cheer.” And that statement is not followed by offering an alcoholic beverage. Rather, it is offered with a big warm hug from a stranger - soon to be friend and perhaps your temporary or full-time sponsor.
“And tales of glories of Christmases long, long ago…” “I remember my first Christmas AA meeting. My brother….” “I remember this Christmas, I was just a couple of years in the program, and this person….I never laughed so hard in my life.” “I remember the Christmas Mark has his first heart-attack. He scared the life out of us…” Stories of recovery, of joy, sadness, loneliness, togetherness, all told with all the pain and joy that is appropriate to the situation.
And so it is, “the most wonderful time of the year…” However, we celebrate this season, may our days be blessed with peace, serenity, love, compassion, and may the New Year fill us with new friends and another year of peace and sobriety.
Séamus D.
Séamus is an Episcopal priest in the Louisiana Diocese.
